MY FIRST SCHOOL FIGHT.

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 12:25:44 +0100

Picture it. East Flatbush 1989.
We were on the cheese bus coming from the Annex on Avenue D back to the main building on Lenox road.
I was sitting next to my friend Jason Swaby. We werent good friends, but we played a lot. Jason was pretty quiet which was the perfect balance to by spazness. (Yes, I am ready to admit, I was a total spaz.) We usually sat together on the bus for the 15 minute trip (In moderate traffic).

This day we must have run out of topics, and we started speaking on "who would win if we fought". Yes, the classic hypothetical "who would win if we fought " quagmire.
As we each took turns explaining exactly why we would: Fuck each other up- Jason Swaby seemed to get serious about it. I followed suit.

We werent loud, but the whole bus seemed to have sensed that something was amiss in the third row as whispers of ' Kamal and Jason gonna fight, Kamal and Jason gonna fight Kamal and Jason gonna fight (i shoulda copy and pasted that one).
Anyhow, we get off the bus and walk angrily to - yes...the YARD. And I dont mean Jamaica either son, I mean the school yard, which was arguably a bit tougher than most parts of the island. Except for Trenchtown. Anyway - I had about 35 minutes before Mr Wint picked me up in his blue van. So a fight would be perfect. Before then, i hadnt really had a fight.
I mean, besides fighting with my cousins and well, chasing my brother down Cortelyou Road with a kitchen knife, some sparring in the annex yard with Collin Golding (who had some mean hooks to the ribs), Actually, I was the champion boxer of the Annex for a good two weeks until Collin asked "who's the champ?" and lit my ass up Like Marvelous Marvin Hagler did Tommy "HitMan" Hearns in their first rematch. Maybe he studied the tape. Anyway besides the the occasional punch on the arm by Kamau's half-a-bully ass...I hadnt really had a real school fight.
So, this was it. And i was mad. The kids in the yard began the infamous brooklyn school fight chant - You know it.
"A fight, A fight.
A n*gga and a white,
If the n*gga dont win,
then we all jump in'
This was strange, since i wasnt fighting Adrianna Reid, the school's token white girl from the hood.
Nomi cut her hair off one day. I don't think there was too much chanting that day actually.

But either way, i got hyper than ultimate hustler Dame Dash promising to be the first trillionare..(of course this is before Jay stabbed him in the back..and even more so before that God awful trainwreck called DDMG)
Anyhow..I was amped...and a crowd of one hundred kids encircled us.

I SWUNG. and missed, i swung , again and again. left -miss, right- miss. left - you get it. It was less of a fight than it was my own renditon of Charlie Brown at bat at the big game. Except in my case I struck out a couple of times before i heard,, Khalilah say in surprise "KAMAL CAN FIGHT!"

Shit thats all i needed to hear, so i stepped in, focused my shoulder and
TAPPED THAT MOTHAF^CKAS JAW. BONG.
Just once. Then I said naively: "Ok, fight's over. I won."
I'm not sure how many real fights Jason Swaby had been in, but apparently he didnt know that once you punch the guy in the face - its pretty much a wrap.

So he said defiantly: "No it isnt". "Yes it is, I hit you" I not so cleverly retorted. In retrospect, unless you are Mike Tyson, John "The beast" Mugabe (google him) - or a particularly mean DECEPT named Rumble? one punch aint doing it.
But, the arrogant bastard I was, I laughed at his obvious ignorance and turned my back as the crowd dispersed.

Dont you know that mothafucka punched me in the BACK of my head? POW
That shit hurt like a bitch too. But in my mind, "he's so stupid, hitting me AFTER the fight, What a Sore Loser. No sportsmanship" POW. "He's so stupid. Doesnt he know that i already won?" POW And i walked away. head sore for three days. Jason Swaby sure did pack a mean punch. Especially when Frustrated

We argued for months afterwards about who won. Apparently, these late hits after the bell rang counted to him. The fact of the matter is, he may have won technically but i coulda took him. He aint have nathan for me face to face..
"fight...fight- a n*gga and a white"

TOP TEN THINGS A PILOT SHOULD NEVER SAY DURING A FLIGHT

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 12:27:06 +0100

Well, as you know. Your favorite Revolutionary's favorite DJ is a jet setter. My passport is stamped up like a 2 bit..well you know. What I'm saying is that Uncle Sam has tracked my movements all over the world.
And I usually tell you all about the trips...Except China. What happens in Shanghai..Stays in Shanghai. But besides that I'm open. But i never tell you about the actual flight.
If you fly, you know that a little bit of Turbulence (shaking) is gonna happen. And you pretty much get used to it. But every 8 years or so, I have an experience that leaves me fearing for my life. Right now I'm on a plane. typing cuz i'm scared as shit. And if you know me? dont nothing scare me except for Menegitis and what I would do to the fool that messed with me. But this time is different. We have been delayed for two hours.. on the ground... The captain is Compulsively Honest. And its bad for my nerves.
So I give you:
Ten things a PILOT shouldn't be saying.

10.* We are currently at terror alert Orange.

Now I know that we are constantly hearing shit about Al Jada or who ever, but do you really feel the need to remind me of that shit ON the plane? Yes, We get it. Everybody hates Chris. But damned if I need to be reminded that 95% of the world wants 100% of America Dead today.
Now I'm here noticing shit I really don't care to notice. Like people conspicuously sweating as they are praying over their Holy Quran or Bible.

9.* We are just waiting for the Clean Bill Of Health

From who? Dr. Bombay? The Roter Rooter man? Just how accurate is this clean bill of health? Isnt this a little like taking off all of your clothes, sticking it in just a little and saying 'i'm waiting for my STD results...it should be good though." He said it takes ten minutes. Hell, the rapid test for HIV takes longer than that. PLEASE don't tell me the dude who signs the clean bill of health is anyting like my Cousin Cleophus who took a six month course and is now licensed to navigate Unidentified Flying Objects .

8.* Use the bathroom now because when we take off, it will be too dangerous

Fucker what? that makes me wanna shit right now! Now what exactly is the dangerous part? Walking down the aisle, or using the facilities? Will the toilet Flush UP or something? I dont need to hear the words "take off" and "dangerous" at the same time. Shit. There goes my bladder.

7. We are in the storm capital of the country. As soon as lightening strikes they shut the airport down.
So let's hurry up and board

* The storm WHAT? And what the fuck u mean hurry up? Are we trying to run a fast one by the Control Tower or The FAA? Either way, something aint right

6. The people we sent to look for the computer aren't answering back

* Wait. So the muthafunnies who you sent to the store room or lost and found or whatever to find a spare computer ain't answering their BBM's? What do you mean they dont have BlackBerry's? nah man. I dont wanna hear nothing about a Go Phone. Plus... Do you even trust what them fools have to say once they DO show up? "Umm yea, THIS one is good"

5. We are having electrical failure
* Too much Information.

4. We are trying to beat the weather system (storm) to the west - if we do, we'll be fine.

* Great. White man tryin to beat Nature is like a Black Man trying to beat the system. Just when you get close? It's not happening. You're going down. Just ask the Prez. And did he just say IF we beat the weather system. So, you're not even SURE? and this motherfucker trying to beat a storm...a motherfucking storm. Who are you man? Magneto? this aint X-Men man! This is my LIFE!

3. We are going to try to look for a new computer and then SWAP it out.

* I hear SWAP? I'm thinking 2 things. Swinger's party and sloppy rush job...and I don't see any progressive couples on here. Except for this indian girl and dreadlocked guy sitting in the row opposite of me. They look progressive, but I doubt they are going to be swapping right now. Thusly, hearing that the computer will be Swapped worries me

2. We have a vested interest in this - We don't get paid until we leave the ground.

* Ohhh. So THAT's why you dont mind taking off with a broken down plane. So u dont care about the safety of the lives hanging in balance hunh? Its your little 19.5k that you're worried about. You just wanna get the plane into the next city so you can bang Flight Attendant Frieda don't you? Gee, thanks Captain Bob. Fuck You!

1. Right now, You know as much as we do

Holy shit.

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MY FIRST SCHOOL FIGHT.

TOP TEN THINGS A PILOT SHOULD NEVER SAY DURING A FLIGHT